Hydaelyn's Heirs and Other Adventures
by Nikaya
Summary: Series of one-shots about the heroes of Eorzea, focusing on the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Now playing: Estinien returns in the wake of Stormblood. How does this affect the WoL since the last time she saw him? 4.2 spoilers
1. Not Much for Conversation- AlphinaudWoL

"How often do you come?"

"Whenever I can."

He only noticed the tremor in her voice from the utter silence surrounding them, making Alphinaud stop himself before saying something more. His outstretched hand fell limply to his side. The glowing carbuncle beside him looked up at him, tilting its head in confusion. Alphinaud dismissed it.

The Warrior of Light hadn't turned away from the gravestone since Alphinaud had found her there. Her arms were wrapped around herself, and he noted the way her fingers dug into her exposed skin. Her hair whipped around her downward tilted head, and he struggled to see her expression, wondering if it was purposeful.

Thinking better of it, Alphinaud stepped up beside her but didn't look up or touch her. It felt to him as though she was miles away… _months_ in the past….

He carefully removed the clock from his shoulders and reached up to drape it over her. She turned her head away but she did pull the new clothing closer to herself.

He looked down once more at the bare stone. The only glimmer of color from the white cliff-side was the shining red of the unicorn on the shield that sat leaning against the stone.

Alphinaud finally chanced a glance up at her face. It was expressionless, as stone-cold as the grave.

He opened his mouth to speak… to say what he wanted to since that day… since Estinien too…. He closed it.

Finally, he settled. "He was right about you."

She didn't seem to hear him or didn't care; there was no change in expression or movement.

He said it anyway. "A smile better suits a hero."

Still, she gave nothing away. Sighing, he turned from her, stopped, clenched and unclenched his fists with a grimace appearing for just a moment on his face, and he walked down the mountain alone.

* * *

 _The Warrior of Light stood stoic in the bed of flowers staring out over the field. She didn't move when she heard two distinct sets of footsteps behind her._

 _Lyse and Alphinaud turned to her, out of breath._

"You're alright…." _he thought to himself. "Thank the Twelve…."_

 _Before Alphinaud could process what Zenos, the broad, powerful man before him had spoken, he saw him lift the sword to his neck._

" _COWARD!" he yelled. He saw the way the Warrior of Light reached out to him, almost…_ afraid.

 _He watched the horror unfold… Lyse was too late. The body slumped to the floor. The head once atop his shoulders… cast aside._

 _He looked up to the Warrior of Light._

 _Tears fell._

 _Only Alphinaud noticed the great Warrior of Light wipe them away._

* * *

Against his better judgment, Alphinaud found himself standing at the gate of a mansion belonging to one of many so-called Free Companies in Shirogane. To his dismay, it wasn't uncommon to find the Warrior of Light taking her downtime at this one in particular.

Grimacing, the young Elezen stepped through the gateway and looked around the lavish exterior of bridges and cherry blossoms. A few adventurers gave him a second glance but he otherwise brushed them off. Fortunately for him, he found his target off in the corner of the yard at the chocobo stable tending to a mid-size blue chocobo he recognized immediately.

He cleared his throat when he approached, making the girl's head snap up. He smiled at her, and she returned it, not quite allowing it to meet her eyes.

"You're probably wondering what I'd be doing here in a place… _like this_." he allowed. "Though I must say, it exceeded my expectations."

She looked to him, an eyebrow raised.

The younger of the two sighed before he continued. "I know, I said I'd never come here. And still, I haven't the faintest clue why you insist on using your abilities for… _this_ …."

The older of the two lowered the brush from the chocobo and folded her arms across her chest, narrowing her eyes.

Alphinaud pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm really making a mockery of myself as I go about this entirely wrong, aren't I?"

That gave her the chance to crack a smirk.

"I just don't understand why you don't want to stay at the Rising Stones with us…. Especially after the events having just transpired-"

"I don't want your pity, Alphinaud." she snapped.

Taken aback, he opened his mouth to retort but dropped it. Thinking better of his words choice, he took a breath. "Despite what you may think, I have the best intentions for you and the Scions. And in spite of that, your reckless behavior has me-"

"Oh, like the Crystal Braves?" she snapped again.

A sharp intake of breath. "I _thought_ -"

"You _thought_ wrong." She clenched her eyes shut before reopening them again. "You _always_ think you know what's best for everyone, Alphinaud." She wasn't loud, her voice rather low but sharp in her cutting words. "Creating _another_ Grand Company and further dividing Eorzea? Splitting up the Scions after we just reunited after Ul'dah? You weren't even there when Alisae was hurt! You stayed _back_!"

He clenched his fists then pointed a finger. "By the Twelve, you _know_ that we _both_ thought she was fully capable of being on the front lines."

"On what grounds? You hadn't fought alongside her in months! You had faith in your sister, so I trusted your better judgement!"

"It was _your_ Gods-damned choice to allow this to happen!"

She stopped and formed a thin line with her mouth. "Alphinaud Leveilleur…. Are you implying that I _want_ to be saving the world several times over in under a year?"

He scoffed. "They call you a primal slayer for the jest then?"

She turned away from him then and continued brushing her chocobo in silence.

Alphinaud sighed. "Despite _all_ of this, I did not come all the way out here to rile you."

"Is that so?" she asked without turning her gaze.

" _You're_ the one-" but he stopped, straightened his tie and coughed. "I just feel that it would beneficial for the rest of the Scions to know-"

"Of course." she grumbled to herself.

It didn't go unnoticed. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's _always_ about the Gods-damned Scions, Alphinaud. Do you even remember what happened with the Heavensward? To Ysayle? Estinien?" She bit her lip before the last. "…Haurchefant?"

"Seven _Hells_! Of course I remember! How can I _forget?_ I pried the Eye off of Estinien with you! I watched as Haurchefant drew his last breath in your arms!"

"Then why is it still always about the Scions?!" she yelled at last, turning to him, making Alphinaud take a step back. "You could have been possessed by fucking Nidhogg! Or worse! You could have been killed by Estinien! Is that what you want?!"

"I'll be damned if I don't do _something_!"

His last outburst was louder than the rest and earned him a few extra stares. Seeing the great Warrior of Light grimace was a sight. She waved to them, reassuringly.

She glared back down at him. She hissed, "Now you understand why I'm the primal-slayer. Go home, Alphinaud."

He clenched his teeth, glaring back into her eyes, searching them for any amount of regret. There was none.

This time, he didn't bother with parting words or turning away. He teleported to the Rising Stones as he held her gaze.

* * *

 _The Circle of Ala Mhigan village leaders spoke amicably about the renewal of peace in the previously-controlled territory._

 _Standing off to the side, the remaining Scions of the Seventh Dawn watched on as Lyse led the discussion._

 _But the outburst of the Ananta leader turned all heads to her. She cried out to summon a primal. Disbelief swept the circle of people. The Scions all turned to each other, eyes wide._

 _The doors burst open behind them. More Ananta can surging forward with guards flanking them, enthralled._

 _In a flash, Lakshmi appeared before them._

 _The Warrior of Light, turned back to Alphinaud. But before she could call out a command, others shouted orders, deaf to their four ears._

 _He whispered, and she saw the message. "Not again…."_

 _But he was told to run, to protect the others from enthrallment._

 _Clenching his teeth, he nodded to her one last time and ran, ushering everyone to go before himself._

 _The fight itself seemed to have taken years. When silence finally reigned, Alphinaud was one of the first to burst back through the doors, clearly out of breath. His eyes darted around the room, finally settling on the glowing light of the Echo coming from the Warrior of Light._

 _He could finally breathe again._

* * *

The Rising Stones is more often than not a hub of social interaction. Between the drinking, talking, and overall positive attitude that typically floats through the open spaces, the bar attitude tends to spill into the headquarters of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. After all, what's saving the world without a little celebration?

On this night in particular, since the freedom of Ala Mhigo, many were absent, sent to various parts of Ala Mhigo and villages to establish new connections and reunite families. The usually boisterous halls were near-silent with only a few candles flickering here and there for light.

Down the corridor of the dormitories was particularly silent, save for the sound coming from one room, muffled behind a door.

Alphinaud Leveilleur happened to be up at this time, going over his notes on spells and summons when he paused to listen. The wood chair scraped across the wood floor at he stood and placed down the quill and book in front of him. His heels clicked on the floor as he approached the doorway and listened.

It wasn't all that difficult to hear it, albeit being muffled. His mouth parted slightly but then it tightened into a line as he took a step back from the door.

 _No_ , he thought, _I need to do this._

He stepped through the doorway and walked down the hall to the doorway with the noise coming from it. He rapped on the door one, twice…. The noise stopped. "Are you alright?" Silence. He sucked in a breath and pushed open the door.

The room was dark, save for a single candle on the night table beside the bed. The figure sitting on the mattress was hunched over on itself, knees tucked up to the chest with their back to the wall. He heard choked breaths once again, and he slowly walked over to the bedside.

He looked down at her, then, he hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed. He folded his hands in his lap, silent.

He waited. He waited for what felt like eternity.

"You're one of the most patient people, Alphinaud."

He noticed the way her voice was: rough, hoarse, choked. She had been like this for hours. He chuckled. "I'd like to think I am."

He felt the bed creak and the shuffle of the other person before she appeared beside him, her legs tucked beneath her. She folded her hands in her lap and stared at the floor.

"I'm not sure what I'm doing here anymore." He said it without thinking. He wasn't sure why he said it. But he felt like it was an important place to start.

It served its purpose. She turned her head to look at him, but he was also staring at the floor. "Here?" she asked tentatively.

"I don't mean to say that I am not fit to be a Scion," he explained quickly, still not looking at her. "I have long since come to terms with my… _faults…_ _mistakes_." He practically spit the last words out. "What I mean to convey…. I do not understand what I can do for you, my friend."

He was met with stunned silence. Then, "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing," she said again. He finally looked up to meet her eyes. They wavered, if only for an instant. "You can do nothing for me."

His chest tightened. "What are you planning?"

Her eyes narrowed, then she questioned, "Planning?"

"Do you plan to run? To leave the Scions? To go and get yourself-?"

"I am not suicidal, Alphinaud."

He grimaced, but his chest felt less constricted. He said nothing.

"It's Zenos…." She said it hardly above a whisper.

But she was caught. "Zenos…? You're… you are despairing over _Zenos_? A sworn enemy? One which you watched run from trial?"

She looked down again then nodded.

"He was a monster! A criminal! A murderer! How could you care for that-!"

"Friend. He said I was a friend."

This stopped him in his tracks. He settled down and listened.

"It was his final words. He saw me as his equal, a challenge when that day finally came. He was excited… _happy_ even, to face me again. He knew what I was capable of. And he was ready for him…. But I didn't accept him. That was why…." She took a shaky breath.

"You believed that?" he asked, beside himself.

She nodded, still looking away.

"My friend… my _true_ friend…. He was trying to get inside your head. If not for you, Ala Mhigo would yet to be free! Then you nearly killed yourself trying to save us all from Lakshmi's influence so soon after the matter! You are our hero, our Warrior of Light, our-!"

"Is that why you've been acting like this? Why you've been so…?" she trailed off.

He scoffed. "Overbearing? Worried? What would you make of that?" he snapped. "Would you run? Would you push me away yet again to run to another great foe? I am tired. I cannot, will not… continue to allow this. I cannot continue to chase you."

She bit her bottom lip and turned to the far wall.

"Look at me."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'll just continue to break you!" she yelled to no one. She took three shallow breaths. Then she continued, "I _know_ I'm hurting everyone over and _over_ again."

"Then why? Why do you keep running after primals? Finding trouble wherever it stirs? Why will you not get some rest?"

"I can't." she whispered.

"Why not?" he asked sternly.

"Do you want to die, Alphinaud?" she snapped back, turning to him again. This time, he saw the tears welling in her eyes. " _That's_ why I do it. Because without the Echo… without _me_ … _everyone_ dies. _Everyone_. I am one person. I can't be the last one. I can't be alone."

"You are not alone," he said, taking her closest hand between his own two. He felt his face heat up. "If you let us help you, you will not die-"

Annunciating each syllable carefully, she yelled, piercing the halls' silence. "But everyone else will! You _will_ die!"

"I'd rather die than allow you do so in my place! The title of primal slayer, slayer of Nidhogg, Warrior of Light… none of them have true meaning to me! They are all lost to me when the most important part of those things is _you_!" Realizing his own words, he licked his lips and swallowed.

He felt her shaking in his grip. Her mouth parted in surprise. The tears long-welled up in her eyes spilled over the lower lids and streamed down her cheeks.

He carefully pulled a hand free to collect her other one in his lap on the remaining open palm. He took his other free hand and reached up, using his thumb to push the tears away.

Once he was satisfied with the tears clear, he leaned forward, taking in her scent as he took a deep breath. His forehead touched hers as he closed his eyes against her overwhelming presence. He felt her take a sharp breath but then let it go slowly, relaxing into him.

Finally, she slid her forehead off of his and let it fall into his shoulder. She sobbed herself dry. She had been long done with tears, save for the few last ones she let go for him. He rubbed her back in circles, shushing her quietly.

After what felt like too soon to the boy, she lifts her head off of his shoulder and looked to him, eyes puffy. She gave him a weak smile.

He leaned forward again, pressing his forehead to hers, and if she were surprised, she didn't let on this time. They both closed their eyes.

"You are my dearest friend," he whispered. "We have been to the Seven Hells and back together. I could not bear the thought that you may not come home one day. And for how I have been withholding this from you, allowing my resentment to be the feeling showing through, I am gravely sorry."

"Don't be." she replied. "I haven't exactly been the least reckless person you know."

"They don't call you a primal-slayer for the jest then?" he asked, his voice shaky but with a smirk.

She chuckled lightly, making his stomach flip over. He smelled her breath on his face. He felt her hair fall in his face.

"I'm sorry about what I said, too," she added quickly. "You did everything you could, and it was for the right reasons."

Alphinaud shook his head. "You were at least _partially_ right. I am headstrong, too much to be a leader in times like these."

"That's not true," she whispered. "I wouldn't want anyone else to be our leader now. You understand what we've been through. You want nothing more than to change Hydaelyn. That's something to be proud of." She shook her own head. "You've made mistakes. So have I."

"Are my mistakes worthy of your kinship, great Warrior of Light?" he said, smiling, despite the heat building on his face and his throat growing dry.

He gently pushed the hair aside and over her shoulder. He had not meant it the way it had come out, so forward. He wanted more than anything to, at the very least, allow her to know she had a companion, one loyal to the bitter ends of Hydaelyn and to the Seven Hells and back… at her side. He smiled at her in promise. He would not let her run. Not again.

His head was spinning and eyes were closed before he was aware of her pressed against him. Her lips pushed eagerly against his, and her hands had made their way to his shoulders, wrapping around his neck.

He breathed in sharply through his nose, taking her face in his hands and fully taking the rest of her in. She breathed him in, gripping him tighter, pulling him closer.

She abruptly pulled back, leaving him dizzy and breathless. He searched her eyes for something… _any_ kind of explanation, as they both grasped for air.

She did nothing. Then she breathed, "You know that I can't promise to be safe."

He continued searching her eyes, trying to also steady his own breath. "I do. But I ask that you not impose the same on myself." Her eyes widened, but he pressed on, pulling her close once more. "Let me be at your side, no matter the threat. Will you accept my wish… please?"

Her eyes narrowed, clearly not willing. But she nodded with a smile… as she always did. Then, she came back to him once more.

* * *

[A/N 10-20-17]: Yeah, I know I said I'd be updating my other stories first and starting other one-shots, but I've been playing A LOT of FFXIV and I had to get this one down on paper. I'm not sure if I will be doing more one-shots for FFXIV than this one, but if I do, they will be able various characters posted here! I hope you enjoyed this one!

I purposefully made the WoL rather ambiguous so that anyone can relate their character or picture who they want in that position. I've loved the dynamic of the player character with Alphinaud and I had to put this one out there!

Two songs inspired this story but I didn't feel that either was quite perfect, so a blend of the two it is! So not a story fic, but if you're curious:

 _Fallen Angel_ by Three Days Grace

 _Be Somebody_ by Thousand Foot Krutch

Stay tuned for more… maybe!


	2. You Shall Have My Blade as Well- AymWoL

Just as the first time the great Warrior of Light returned to Ishgard, he greeted her with a warm smile and a soft, yet confident, "Welcome home."

It had been a while, more time than she had willingly admitted. But Ishgard carried a lot of memories… and a lot of old wounds not-quite healed. Though, she would admit willingly that those wounds may never heal.

She had always felt that her time in Ishgard had led to the most loss of life she had yet faced up to that point. Or at least, those she knew on a personal level. She choked back the lump in her throat that tried to form when she appeared at the Aetheryte Crystal in the Foundation that morning.

She first wished to lay down; it had been a _long_ time since she had willingly taken a nice nap. Before she went on her way, she took care to take her faithful chocobo to The Holy Stables for some rest and relaxation. It had been too long, she concluded, since she had pampered the bird, and so she tipped the groom and asked that the Warrior of Light's chocobo get some extra love during her stay. Was it often that she used that line? Definitely not, but for her most loyal companion's sake, she was more than willing, and he was more than deserving.

Once she took another Shard to her destination, she gazed up at the mansion and sighed as her hair whipped around her in the chilly air. She stepped up to the guard at the entrance of Fortemps Manor and was regarded politely with a salute, and the door was opened for her.

Though she had come unannounced, Lord Edmont had insisted upon a lunch together with his – remaining – sons to properly greet her. There were few moments of awkward pauses here and there, but mostly the younger sons enjoyed her stories of the world beyond Ishgard when she threw in a couple of boasts once in a while.

After lunch, she went to her room to be in peace for a bit, she decided. In her time there in the past, they had given her a room of her own from one in the guest wing. She had been told to decorate it to her liking but hadn't had the time to do what she wanted with it before being whisked off to the brink of war once more. Edmont had taken her suggestion of soft blues and grays for the theme while she had been away, with new paint, carpeting, and all the trimmings of her bed. She smiled at the consideration of it all before taking a much-needed, long, hot bath in her joining bathroom.

Feeling clean for the first time in actual months, she pulled back her long hair and threw herself onto the bed, face-to-pillow in fresh, dry clothes. She reveled in the feeling of her clean clothes and blankets, and finally drifted off for a few hours.

When she awoke next, it was around 17 hundred hours. She groggily pulled herself upright and smoothed out her hair before throwing off the blankets. She slid off the bed, standing up and stretching. She sighed. It was time to address one of those old wounds.

And that was how she found herself standing in front of the much taller Elezen man. A man who had done nothing but give his full support of her since they became friends. After his greeting, he nodded and seemed to decide something. "Would you like to discuss your travels over dinner?"

She tensed, and he seemed to notice when he quickly added, "Just something casual. I promise, I'll change out of this."

Then she smiled and nodded in agreement.

Lucia escorted her down the hallway to the dining room she had been to before, of course, only to be interrupted. They chatted idly about Ishgard and how it had been in her months away. She had missed the way the Garlean woman described things in earnest, and she could respect that and even appreciate it. But when Lucia dismissed herself to go to her own home, the Warrior of Light sat in one of the chairs on one side of the table, dressed in a simple shirt and long skirt combination rather than more elegant dinner-wear… something felt very different.

When the Lord Commander of the Temple Knights appeared through the door with a simple V-neck undershirt and dark, cloth pants, the Warrior of Light paled. Then she understood what was different. It didn't even take Ser Aymeric dismissing the waiting staff with the doors shutting behind them to understand that this dinner was going to be different.

Their plates were already in front of them with the meal steaming hot even still as he sat opposite her and smiled. "Please, think not that you must wait for me."

She smiled uneasily and wordlessly started to cut her steak, focusing on it.

As he made himself comfortable, he eyed her warily. Something didn't sit well with him either. "Is there something amiss with your meal?"

She quickly looked up and shook her head. But she could only think to herself, after everything… and how _long_ it had been since she last visited, he was still so loyal to her… treated her so well. She quickly looked back down.

Aymeric's mouth formed a thin line but he said nothing, instead choosing to clear his throat and begin cutting into his own meal. "So… please… tell me some of your recent adventures, my friend."

She winced slightly at his words. She wasn't sure which of them made her most uncomfortable. But she played it off and began describing how well the revolution in Ala Mhigo had went. She had helped free Doma! She had slain the murderous prince of the Empire. She took down yet another _few_ – not one – primals.

With each story, Aymeric seemed to grow more and more excited for her, his eyes widening at all the right times, and his mouth gaping at the shocking details. Of course, he was there when she had helped free Ala Mhigo, but he hadn't the chance to talk with her after.

After a beat of silence, Aymeric was quick to say, "I wanted to speak with you after the besting of Shinryu." He caught the way she winced that time at the word "besting". He frowned. "Something bothers you."

She bit her lip and shook her head, staring down at her plate but only turning her food with her fork.

This time, he called her name, gently yet firmly. This time, she shook her head harder and focused further on her meal.

She heard his chair creak from the other side of the table. She felt his presence kneeling at her side and pointedly looked the opposite direction.

"I do not know the precise social formalities of Eorzea, but I do know that a friend is supposed to be there for one another." he said barely above a whisper, his voice hoarse.

Then, she sucked in a breath and finally looked down at his face, his eyes softened and pleading. There seemed to be water prickling at his eyes. "I do not take joy in seeing my friends in pain." he admitted.

"I haven't told anyone." she said finally.

His eyebrows furrowed. He looked down at her hands folded in her lap and lifted his own hands over hers and looked up to her in question. When she didn't pull back, he picked up her hands in his own. "You have not spoken of…?" he prodded gently.

She shuddered as she let out another breath of air, closing her eyes. His hands were warm and soft… comforting. She opened her mouth to speak, hesitated briefly. "You will think different of me. I don't expect you to understand."

"I expect not to understand but only to listen to your plight. If my advice is what you desire, I am willing to give it."

She opened her eyes and looked straight into his without hesitation. "Zenos was my friend."

There wasn't much that surprised the Lord Commander. This was one of those few times. His mouth hung open slightly and he breathed out through his nose.

The girl in the chair withdrew her hands and started to turn away, but he wouldn't allow her to retreat in on herself. He gently touched the side of her face with a hand, prompting her to look back at him. "Please… allow me to attempt understanding."

She sighed. "It's not something that _I_ even understand. He was my enemy, a villain, a murderous… _beast_." She chuckled at the inside joke between them. "But he had no one else. He was shaped to become what he was. But he was not… he was… still looking for someone."

Ayermic sat listening, still baffled. But he prodded further. He needed to keep her talking, both out of his own curiosity and his worry for one of his dearest friends. "Looking for whom?"

"Me," she said with a nervous laugh. "He wanted someone close to him. He felt that he could never be matched in battle. His father was not an option because of the sides of war they were on together. But me…. I was able to go toe-to-toe with him… _eventually_. I needed some help to defeat him in the end, but he saw me as his equal. And when he asked me… once I defeated Shinryu in his unnatural bonding with him…. He asked me if I accepted him as the monster he was. He wanted to know if we could be friends. I had said no. I wanted him to change. I wanted him to become the person I knew he could be if he had real companions…. But I didn't get that chance. I couldn't give him that… not before he did…."

"What did he do?" Aymeric prompted, taking back her hands and squeezed them.

The Warrior of Light's eyes moved to Aymeric's, searching. How could he not know? Word didn't spread that she had not finished him off?

"He slit his own throat."

His mouth was slightly agape, his brain not quite caught up with what he had just heard. But she didn't need him to because she went on, rambling through sobs and struggling for air to catch up with her thoughts. Her hands flailed out of his grip as she explained what she needed to less than what made perfect sense to him.

"It was right in front of me. And then Lakshmi was summoned during the peace talks…. She converted so many… we had to slaughter them all. The other Scions… Alphinaud came so close! And then I lost Midgarsormr… and almost Biggs and Wedge…. We actually found Gosetsu but that was nothing short of a miracle! So many more people have died since The Dragonsong War, and it's my fault for not being good enough! I could have saved-!"

"Stop!" Aymeric shouted, then immediately coughed to cover up his discomposure. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry. I meant not to raise my voice."

The Warrior of Light sitting before him had returned to hands to her lap at his outburst, looking at Aymeric with wide eyes, cheeks stained with tears.

He sighed. "My friend," he started, pointedly looking into her eyes, piercing through with his brilliant blue ones. He reached down, and she allowed him to take her hands once more. "When you signed up to become a Scion of the Seventh Dawn, were you aware of how important that job was? To protect and defend a country you had just arrived upon?" She shook her head, more tears streaming down her face. Aymeric lifted one hand to brush away the tears with his index finger. "What were you told?"

"I… I had the Echo. I didn't know what that meant… or how important it was."

"Precisely!" he whispered softly yet directly. "You had not the slightest idea what your journey would entail." He glanced down at her smaller hands in his own and rubbed the back of them with his thumbs. He looked back up to meet her eyes again. "And were you aware that you were the Champion of Haedalyn? Of a god? Did you know the responsibility you took on when you joined, _precisely_?"

This time, she bit her lower lip and shook her head vigorously. "No! I didn't know I'd lose so many people for it! I never asked for this!" More tears streamed down.

With one hand, he squeezed hers harder and the other gently stroked her cheek with his index finger to relieve more tears. "Please… deep breaths…." he coaxed.

She had caught that he seemed to linger in his words, as if he left another thought unsaid, but she let it go in her state at the moment.

"Warrior of Light…." Aymeric said quietly. "Your title… do you enjoy that? Are you proud to be a becon of hope for Eorzea?"

The question made her furrow her eyebrows at him. But she answered, "I am proud to be…. I just don't want to be."

"That is the answer," he agreed. "You asked not for this grave responsibility. You asked not to be honored and revered as a god on Hydaelyn…." he scoffed at his own unintentional joke. "You asked not to be this. "However… you do so with such grace. You have always taken your job as seriously as mine own." He paused in brief thought, taking her hands firmly. "An illegitimate child of a monster… essentially became the prime minister of a broken nation overnight! I am in charge of arguably the most corrupted military on all of Hydaelyn… and _still_ the people trust in me. _Still_ , they asked for me to move us forward. Why?"

"You would die for them," she answered without hesitation. "They know that. You've been through so much to help them and create a path for equality. That was all you."

"And that is precisely the same reason the world turns to you. You try. You continue to try. You _do not stop_. And the people know this. You give them hope. _That_ is what makes you the Warrior of Light. Yes, indeed loss of life is inevitable in your line of work." She looked down at this, but he used a hand to lift her chin again. "But those that are lost do so in the name of hope. Because you show them what hope is…." He sucked in a breath before speaking again. "Haurchefant… he gave his life to protect you. Ysayle… did so as well. You and Alphinaud risked your lives to save Estinien…. It comes to receiving and giving life. There is a balance. And trust in me when I tell you that there have _never_ been regrets by any of those that follow you."

The conviction in his voice is what broke her. She finally reached forward and buried her face into his shoulder, shaking with sobs. She clutched at his back, to ground herself. She needed this. She needed to _hear_ that someone cared... _feel_ someone hold her while she broke… _think_ that she was home…. And she finally understood.

She needed her friends and family. She needed to feel vulnerable. But most importantly, she needed her friends and family to be there for her when she became vulnerable, and no one else to see the great Warrior of Light completely broken down.

Aymeric allowed himself a small – albeit sad – smile. He smoothed her hair with one hand and held her close around the middle with his other despite the awkward angle from her sitting in the chair. He shushed her the best he could while he breathing slowly became less ragged and smoother. He started to hum something quietly to soothe her.

After what felt like eternity, she pulled back, her breath settled, and looked to his eyes. He seemed to smile with them at how gracefully she came back to herself on her own. She just needed this quiet moment between friends.

He lifted a hand to her hair and took a small strand, smoothing it through his fingers, delicately. He repeated the motion, watching his own hand run through over and over. She followed his gaze, feeling at ease at last. He leaned forward and she followed, their foreheads touching as they both closed their eyes. They sat there for a while in the comfortable silence.

His voice hoarse, he broke it after what time he felt was allowing enough. "Come," he said, slowly standing. "I wish to show you what it means to relax." He held out a hand to her. She looked from his hand to his face and back again. She took it carefully and stood.

Her calloused, rough yet small hand in his own slender, gentle, soft one led her down a hallway she hadn't been down before. At the end of the hallway, they came to double, oak doors designed for the height of an Elezen man, and he gently released her hand to turn both golden handles to reveal his bedroom.

She only had time to briefly glance around the ornate interior before he turned to take her hand once again and led her to a couch off the side of the room with a fireplace and tea table before it. He placed an extra pillow against the back of it and gestured to the couch for her to sit. She did so, not taking her eyes off of him.

"Wait here, if you will," he seemed to ask. She nodded with a brief smile and he left the room, the doors left open behind him.

She observed more of the room in his absence. His bed was trimmed with a full canopy and was the largest she had ever seen. The comforters and pillows were decorative but clearly soft and full, black and royal blue designs flowing down all the way to the floor. The fireplace was a rich, red brick and the couch she sat on matched the bed with the tea table and other furniture the same deep brown of the doors to the room with matching golden handles.

After a few minutes, she heard footsteps emerge from the doorway and she turned to see him smiling with a tray of tea and cookies.

She felt herself allow her shoulders to drop. He came over to the table in front of her and set the tray down with a chuckle. "My friend… my intention was not to scare you with mine own."

She felt her cheeks heat as she sat forward, clasping her hands in her lap. He came around the table to sit just inches beside her and he looked to her with a smile before leaning forward and pouring some tea from the silver pot into a cup with a plate under it. "Milk? Sugar?"

"Both please," she said quietly.

He added both for her and spun the contents with a spoon, setting it back on the tray before gingerly handing it to his companion. She took it with a nod. "Thank you."

"Careful, now. It will be hot." he cautioned as he took his own cup and began pouring.

She blew on the cup's steam and sipped quietly, eying his choice for lack of milk and sugar. He took the cup with plate underneath and sat back on the couch, crossing a leg over his knee. He sipped his own tea quietly as well and sighed. "Ah…. Nothing in Eorzea is betting than the warmth of tea in your middle."

"Mmm" she agreed with a hum.

He lifted a hand to the tray. "Please, help yourself."

She eagerly reached down to the tray and selected a cookie, practically melting in her hand. The chocolate was partly melted and diminished completely on her tongue. She smiled, letting her eyes slide closed.

He chuckled at her antics once again, a little more loudly and a little more heartily this time. "Excuse my musings, but you seem to still be hungry."

She swallowed the cookie in her mouth and rubbed her lip. "I might be," she admitted.

"You feel at ease?" he asked.

She nodded. As she chewed – taking care not to drop any crumbs – she glanced around the room again. It contrasted so greatly with the man in front of her, and it brought her to the realization of just how intimately friendly she had become with the great leaders of the continent she felt as though she just recently settled in. It had hardly been a year since she arrived, and yet, here she was with a leader from a new Eorzean Alliance member she had worked to forge that bond with, both nationally and personally.

"Has your voice left you?" he asked, gently.

She finished the cookie and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I look like an idiot."

"You look relaxed," he said. "At last, the Warrior of Light hath let her guard down."

"That's a good thing?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"There be a time and a place for everything."

She pursed her lips, unsure if she agreed. In her travels, she knew that was an optimistic mistake. She thought better of someone hardened by his own battles, but she supposed it came from his lack of practice.

"You may feel differently," he suggested, her starting slightly and gazing at him. "But your physical willingness at the moment appears to agree."

She looked down at the plate in her hand, her tea nearly gone and only crumbs remaining from her snack. She reached forward and replaced the plate with the cup on the tray. She sat back and looked to him. "I just know what's wronged me in the past."

He frowned, took one more sip of his own tea and replaced his plate and cup on the tray. "Always vigilant, are we?"

She scoffed. "More people would be dead if I weren't."

He shook his head. "You mustn't blame yourself." He inched closer to her and took her hands in his own once again. He released with one hand and brushed her cheek with his thumb. "We make our own choices in life and in death. People choose to fight for what they believe in. And in you… people see that Light that has been bestowed upon you… and that you have made of yourself."

She smiled, leaning slightly into his hand and reached up with one of her own to rest on his. "Thank you… for showing me the light when I can't see it."

He smiled his gentle smile again and moved his hand to press it lightly against her chest over her heart. He looked into her eyes. "You need not see the light. For it is in you to bestow upon us all which are grateful for you."

Then, it was her turn to search his eyes for something. She wanted… _needed_ conformation that this unexpected turn of events was truly unfolding in front of her. She felt it in her heart, with his hand pressed over it, what she _craved_ for so long.

She closed the distance between their lips.

He breathed in sharply as their lips met, her, throwing her arms over his shoulders to pull herself close to him. He released his hands from their original position to cup her face, ever-so gently as the initial shock faded. Her surprising warmth reached his cheeks, and he held her there immersed in her presence.

After a few moments, she pulled back and touched her own lips with her fingers, eyes wide.

Aymeric reached out and gently rubbed her cheek. "Be not afraid. Make of this no mistake." he said, his voice hoarse and low. "My… admiration… for your courage… your leadership. I have _strived_ to have what thou has for my people…. I have fallen for that… for you."

"I…" She was at a loss for words. She knew that the closer she had gotten to others, the more danger had befallen them. But his words earlier rang in her thoughts. _We make our own choices in life and death_. "You know what I'm going to say."

He brushed a strand of hair from her face with his hand. "For this affection you hath shown me, I would make that choice to ride into battle with you again. As with the Eorzea Alliance, you shall have my blade as well… _always_."

Tears brimmed at the edge of her eyes, but before they could fall, she pressed herself against him again, kissing him fully with her hands grasping fistfuls of his shirt. He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her slender yet muscular form and pulling her close.

Another moment passed, and he gently pulled back, breathless. "Allow me to make you more comfortable… if you'll have me," he offered, standing and holding out a hand to her once more.

She smiled and took his hand, rising to her feet. He guided her to his bed, but made no move to do anything drastic. He gestured toward the bed, and she hopped up as he took care to fluff a pillow behind her head. Once she was settled, he laid on his side beside her, propping his head in one hand with his elbow to the pillow to look at her.

She turned on her side to match him and breathed in deeply.

"Are you comfortable, my friend?" he asked innocently.

Then it was her turn to chuckle. "You can use my name, you know."

"Thou hath never used mine," he countered.

She grimaced. "You're the Lord Commander of Ishgard," she said back.

"Mmm," he hummed in agreement. "However, Ishgard is no longer a theocracy, and the people voted mine rule. Therefore, I feel more connected to those around myself than before. Would you call me by name?"

She sighed. "…Aymeric?"

He smiled. "The sound on thou tongue hath given me comfort."

She reached out with her free hand and poked his chest, his eyes following her finger in curiosity. "Don't be so formal," she quipped. "If I have to relax, so do you."

He threw up his free hand over his head. "I surrender! The primal slayer hath slain me!"

She narrowed her eyes at him and shoved him this time, throwing him slightly off balance. His body tipped back and he rolled onto his back, making her laugh.

"Ah, you think you're clever as well?" He smirked and this time, he reached over and pulled an arm around her, sweeping her underneath him. "Now who hath slain whom?"

She laughed again, reaching up to cup his face as she kissed him again. He placed his hands on either side of her head to balance himself above her but not crush her and kissed her back, fully. He allowed his fingers to tangle through her hair as they kissed, both smiling into it.

In the middle of their bliss, she reached down and started to pull at the hem of his shirt.

One hand shot down and gripped her wrist.

They stopped kissing.

She pulled back instantly regretting her decision and looked into his eyes with horror. "Aymeric, I-!"

" _Please_ ," he said, breathless. He dropped her wrist as quickly as he had taken it and sat back on his knees. "Please forgive my reaction."

She narrowed her eyes at him and sat up on her elbows. "Why are you sorry? If you don't want-"

"I do," he said quickly. "That… is not the problem."

She tilted her head to the side.

He sighed, and stared at his hands in his lap. "Like you, I have fought battles of mine own. And… I have physical memories to prove that."

She gaped at him for a moment. She sat up fully. "What? And you think I'm perfect under this?" she asked, gesturing to her own shirt. She started to pull it from the bottom.

"No, stop!" he said, pulling her hands down. "You need not prove anything to me."

"I'm not," she said, taking his hands. "But I'm comfortable with my scars, so I want you to be with yours."

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I am… I just… You needn't know of my failures."

"Aymeric…."

"Be it a shame that I regret allowing you to use mine name?" he chuckled, not meeting her eyes again.

She covered her mouth with her hand and made to apologize again, but he met her eyes then and held up a finger. "'Tis but a jest."

She pulled her hand away and allowed a small smile.

He sighed again and reached down, pulling from the hem of his shirt and folding it up and over his head.

She gasped, clasping her hands to her mouth. The Warrior of Light had fought countless battles for the good of Eorzea and beyond. _Everyone_ knew that. Her scars would come as a surprise to none. But before her sat the _Lord Commander_ of Ishgard… royalty in all its glory by the Fury… And she was devastated by the sight.

As she _would_ have guessed, there was a clear, deep scar running diagonally down from his left shoulder across his heart. It was an angry red, all these months later, but that wasn't the sight that shocked her.

All across his chest… stomach… arms – particularly his wrists – were slash wounds. They crisscrossed in some places, creating deeper gashes, but others created grim designs across his body. He stared down the bed in front of him, his hands in his lap.

He scoffed. "Not as glorious as one may have guessed the Lord Commander to be."

She sat upright and leaned forward, looking up to meet his gaze first before reaching out and tracing the scars with her fingers. She used her free hand to reach behind him, and she felt them there too. She finally sat back and lifted his chin with her hand. "Tell me."

He sighed. "I had sought that you needn't ever know of my plight." He shook his head. "Of course you would discover my secret. T'was the Vault, unfortunately. My father's… final act of love for me I suppose." He chuckled darkly.

She bit her lower lip. "Aymeric…." She shook her head then, trying to find the words. "He did this to you?"

"Not by his own hand. He ordered just so. T'was mine own Temple Knights. I suppose I'd never known them at all."

She stared at his scars, even then, not-quite healed. "…Why?" she whispered.

"I cannot." he replied firmly.

She reached forward and took his hands in her own. He looked up at her willingly this time. "Please…."

He searched her eyes for a moment, narrowing his own, desperately searching for something to allow him not to divulge the truth. He reached up and gently brushed his fingers along her cheek. He breathed, "You, my dear."

Her own breathing stopped.

He sighed again, continuing to run his fingers along her face. Whether it was for her benefit to soothe her or for his own sake, she didn't know.

"My… _intense questioning_ …. They wanted to know how to defeat you. They planned to use my relationship with you to break me. Fortunately I was not there long before you and the others came to rescue this damsel…." he laughed again but it was hallow. "As you know, I emerged from the Vault limping and in obvious agony, but I tried to hide best I could. What with the events that followed that fateful day…. I faded into the background, and rightfully so," he quickly added. "Haurchefant was a dear friend to me. We were alike in more ways than our character and love for the way of righteousness by the Fury. And so I vowed never to inform you of my… newly broken form. Then there was the assassination attempt…. And I thought maybe the people would be better off-"

"Stop!" she screamed, echoing through the room's immense size. Her voice had broken on the words, tears streaming down her face. She collected herself at the sight of his concerned gaze, but then she looked down at his scars again. "You are needed by so many. Don't say those things."

He shook his head and scoffed again. "Then why might the people choose to have me slain?"

"Because it is corrupt!" she shouted. "You are working so hard to fix your country for no one but the people and the place you grew up in! Don't you _dare_ say they would be better off! No one would be! You've fought for them and by my side in this war and for far longer than me! How _dare_ you say that!"

By that point, she was shaking, tears pouring down her face unbidden. His gaping expression at the sight finally broke and he smiled at her, tears forming in his own eyes. "You truly believe in this simple-minded bastard-child?"

"Is that all you think of yourself as?" she asked, spitting out the words. "You _earned_ your title, Lord Commander. You have dedicated your life to doing what's right for your people, evening reuniting with the Eorzean Alliance and ending the Dragonsong War! So cut the _shite_ , Aymeric! You are incredible! Everything you've done…! You're just as dedicated to this world as I am! You were made to fight by my side! And you shall have my blade as well! _Always_."

He slowly cocked his head to one side in deep thought. He cared nothing for the tears that now rolled down his own cheeks. He outstretched his arms to her, and she practically threw herself into his embrace.

He pulled her close to him, turning around to lay them down together, curled up on the bed. He cupped her face in his own and kissed her fiercely, taking comfort in that his life could end here and now, and he would finally rest at peace.

He felt every part of her, as she did him. Breathless, he pulled back. "I would do it all again for you, my love."

She smiled a watery smiled back to him. "And I you."

* * *

[A/N 2-20-18]: Here's to another one! Aymeric grew on me a lot after Heavensward, and especially when he followed the WoL into the final confrontation in Stormblood!

This one I was listening to _Stand by You_ by Rachel Platten. And it definitely works for both of their perspectives! I hope you enjoyed this one! Stay tuned for more!


	3. I Now Crave Rest -EstinienWoL

" _No…"_ she whispered.

The two titans of men of this world stood before her on opposing sides of the war at large. Her breath taken away, she stood on the Steps of Faith, the wind just brisk enough to turn her cheeks pink as her hair whipped around her.

On one end of the newly-rebuilt bridge stood the one person she could say she had lost more than once in this lifetime. His metallic purple dragoon armor spoke lengths of his trials both physical and personal in the time she had known him and the time he had been away. The difference now was that one of the times she had lost him, he looked as he did now.

His eyes were a glowing red, his faced cracked and streaked with blood. She had only witnessed his face in a few, intimate moments in their time together, and touched the silvery hair cascading down his shoulders now.

But the part that worried her the most… were the black and red skeletal wings that erupted from his back, glowing and swaying ominously in the wind with tendrils of power swirling around him.

On the other end of the bridge was another person she had once thought never to be seen again. But she had been thankful for it. She had watched his head roll by her feet as he collapsed in a pool of red before her.

But her gratitude was not for the monster he was or how he had slaughtered so many. It was not how she had won or how she had reclaimed Ala Mhigo. No… it was because he was finally free.

Her one regret in this world had been telling him in his final moments that she did not accept him. She didn't have the chance to voice it, but she wanted to tell him that she believed everyone deserved a second chance.

But he had voiced that he was ready to leave this world. That being bested by her had freed him of his quest to find someone of equal ability. Even then, only by the aide of her companions, was she able to do so.

And yet, here he was, _floating_ in the flesh. Around him was what appeared as the ghost of the primal, Shinryu, as if risen from the grave she had once sent its spirit. And his eyes were also stained red, consumed with the power of the primal engulfing him, and he relished in it. He believed his true equal to be standing at the other end of that bridge.

And she – the great Warrior of Light – stood on the Steps of Faith between them.

* * *

 _Two years ago…_

"He's gone?!" she nearly screamed at the guard.

The Warrior of Light grabbing someone by the collar and pressing him to the wall was a sight to behold. The man was shaking in fear.

He stammered out, "I was on duty o-only for the p-past half hour, miss! I d-didn't know!"

She grunted and dropped him as he fell back onto his feet and tried to catch his breath. She pushed past him and slammed open the door.

The sheets were crumpled on the edge of the bed, flowers long-wilted draped over a vase, and the glaring absence of a lance was – in fact – noticed.

The helmet sat gleaming in the sun at the windowsill, stained red with a broken horn.

She put a finger to her ear. The Linkpearl rang twice.

Alphinaud's voice came in to her ear. "You have never used these damned things. What's wrong?"

"Estinien's gone," she said quickly. "Get an appointment with Aymeric in his office, _now_. We have to find him."

She strode across the room and gingerly picked up the helmet, her reddened reflection staring back at her, defeated.

* * *

She slammed her hands on the desk of the Lord Commander's office. "I don't give a _damn_ if he's going to be impossible to find! I've done _everything_ for this Gods-forsaken country, and you're going to find me the dying man on the street!"

"You do not think I have tried my best?!" Ser Aymeric finally stood, losing his patience with her. He stopped, ran a hand over his face and took a breath. "My friend… I am sorry. Estinien Wyrmblood is a mystery to us all, even I, whom hath known him longest. But as the Lord Commander, I have done all but die searching for him when last he disappeared. If he does not wish to be found, he will not be." He looked down at the floor, his hair falling in his eyes. He whispered through his hoarse voice, "I am truly sorry…. He's gone."

" _Again_ ," she spat. "After everything… after everything we've done together… everything we've been through…!" Her hands clenched to fists at her sides.

Alphinaud opened his mouth to speak and made to reach for her shoulder, but she promptly turned and stormed out of the office, slamming the double wooden doors behind her.

The younger elezen looked to Aymeric.

The older of the two sighed. "If advice is what you seek from me, I have but this: be there for her."

Alphinaud nodded and left the office, for once, at loss for words.

* * *

 _Six months ago…._

"You're welcome, boy."

With the blessing of Midgarsormr, she could feel the new presence.

The feeling came as a wave of underlying physical heat, taking her by surprise. At first she thought she was too young for a hot flash, but then she realized it was coming from her core.

She thought to herself, " _It's him, isn't it? I can sense other dravanians because of you_."

The withdrawn form of the wyrm seemed to mentally nod. " _Aye. 'Tis the one which carry the essence of the Great Wyrm, Nidhogg. Be not alarmed. The Great Dragon within hath long been silenced. Though that power remains._ "

"Is something wrong?" Alphinaud said, out of breath at her side.

"He's here," she said quietly. Before he could question who, she was running to where the explosion had occurred.

She searched for hours. She searched until the other troops had dispersed. She searched until long after the feeling of his presence had faded. She searched until the sun had long set.

Alphinaud and Alisaie found her curled in on herself, her faithful chocobo laid, wrapped around her protectively. He pet the chocobo on the head, and tugged gently on the reins. He lifted her up with the help of his sister, and the three made their way back to camp on the back of the chocobo.

* * *

 _Five months ago…._

"There. There ends your hateful legacy." He turned to walk away from Nidhogg for the last time.

"It's over, Estinien."

The former Azure Dragoon's breath stopped cold. He knew the voice but was caught off-guard by not feeling her presence sooner.

"I waited on purpose," she explained, as if knowing his thoughts. "I wanted the eyes to be gone before I approached… _just you_. You can't feel my presence now, so that's a start… isn't it?"

Finally, he turned to face her. The two of them stood face-to-face for the first time in over a year and a half apart. Their images seemed to mirror each other; they were still, only their hair moving in the wind atop the Menagerie. He could no longer feel her there, but he could see her… _oh,_ he could see her.

Her hair blew wildly around her. Her face was stained with blood and tears that cleared a path through the soot and dirt coating her cheeks. Her eyes were reddened but still burning… _always_ burning.

He stared with a hardened façade, not wanting her to see through the mask that was no longer physically there. He felt freer… lighter…. He held the burden of Nidhogg no longer.

But there was a _flicker_ when he looked into those burning eyes. There was a _flicker_ of… _something_. He didn't like the feeling. He didn't know if it meant there was no one else residing in his body.

She stepped forward, and he stepped backward when she reached out. She withdrew her hand, clasping it to her chest. "Why…?" she whispered. "Why did you leave?"

"Isn't it obvious?" he said with a scoff. "You're not the only one that's dangerous to those around them… those closest."

She took a sharp intake of breath, the words having stung her more than she would have expected his to. She steeled herself and pressed anyway. "And now?" she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"A moment ago, I would have told you that I am free…. But seeing you… looking at you here… I am not so sure. Something still… _burns_ within me. I don't think it's over yet… not truly."

She bit her lip before speaking. She reached out again with one hand. "Then let me be the one to help you… to free you."

He blinked. "No."

"You hesitated. You thought about it."

"Of course I _bloody_ thought about it."

"Then why are you fighting me?"

"Because I think you're the cause!" he snapped.

She dropped her hand to her side once more. He saw her eyes start to mist, and his chest physically ached at the sight. Was it Nidhogg telling him to kill what could defeat him? Was it regret? Guilt? It hurt too much to think about.

Taking a breath, she stepped forward.

He stepped back again. "Get away from me!"

She stopped, but she said anyway, "You're afraid." Her voice wavered more than she had wanted. The reality is that the man before her was still somewhat of an enigma to her. But she so desperately wanted to reach out to her friend… to help him… to save him… _understand_ him. So she had voiced her own thoughts… about herself.

"Of becoming a monster again? Yes, I would think that would be a good thing to fear." he stated matter-of-factly.

"No," she said, shaking her head. In reality, yes, she did fear that of herself. Now she understood that he felt it too. That was a start, she decided. She stepped forward again, but this time he didn't step back. "You're afraid of feeling something."

"What are you on?" he asked, shaking his head.

Her breath caught before she continued. "No family… an arrow shot at you by your closest friend… loss of the one you loved…. I saw the flowers, Estinien."

His mouth gaped open before speaking. "Why are you doing this to me?" he grunted out through gritted teeth.

"You've loved and lost," she said, finally standing just before him. "You've trusted and been betrayed, even by yourself." She reached down, finally close enough to reach him, and took his hands in hers. "You don't even have the spirit that controlled you. So what's left for you?"

She waited patiently for his answer. Her words were piercing her own heart as she thought of the one she had loved and lost in her own journey with Estinien. She wanted to know the truth; was he mirroring her in every way?

His nostrils flared and he bared his teeth at her. There was her answer. He didn't know.

For her, that was enough.

Before he could say more, she reached up and grabbed him at the back of his head and pulled his lips down to hers. She pressed against him as hard as she could without cutting herself on his armor.

He grunted into her touch, her having taken him by surprise. Contact with another living, breathing being had been lost on him for so long. He finally allowed himself to snake his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his armor despite not being able to feel her body. He groaned in both pleasure and frustration at the realization of their closeness yet distance.

He abruptly pulled back sharply and leapt away, leaving her with the wind of his escape on her agape lips.

She let herself fall to her knees. She clenched her hair in her fists and let out a cry so strangled in pain, she didn't recognize her own voice.

But he heard her. And that was the point.

* * *

 _Two months ago…._

Her eyes snapped open. She could feel the familiar presence stronger than she said in months.

She sat bolt-upright in bed, surveying what she could hardly see in the candlelit room around her.

She remembered where she was, working under Hien directly in the reconstruction of the newly freed country of Doma. She had taken the Lord's offer of a small apartment of her own in the Doman Enclave. But that was just it: she was supposed to be alone.

She grabbed her weapon resting beside her bed and quickly tip-toed to the sliding paper doors of her bedroom. Raising the weapon, she slid the door open with one hand in a fighting stance.

Her breath stopped cold, and she dropped her weapon, running to the near-motionless figure clad in armor on the floor.

When she saw him, all of her unanswered questioned dissipated from her mind.

Estinien was in some of the worse shape – albeit being possessed – she had ever seen him in. His armor was scraped up all over, his lance replaced by what looked like a simpler stolen one, and his breath was labored.

"Estinien…." she lamented, rushing to his side, kneeling on the floor. His face was all but destroyed: his hair was a mess, matted with blood and cut at odd angles. His lip was split, his nose bleeding, and his cheeks were bruised in yellows and purples.

"I'm… sorry…." he managed to wheeze. "You were… right."

"Shhh," she said quickly, lifting his head into her lap. She started to remove the armor carefully to help him. "We need to take you to the chirurgeons-"

"Please," he said quietly. He lifted his hand and reached out, so she grasped his hand and held it between her own. "Let me stay… with you."

She bit her lip. She knew he needed serious medical attention, but she knew she had some supplies to at least stop the worst of it.

"I have… been through enough. I just want to stay."

Her chest tightened at his pleading. She let go of his hands to brush the blood-stained hair away from his face. She settled, and said "Let me look you over, and if there isn't something I can't help with, then you can stay. If not, you're going straight to Lord Hien's best, alright?"

"Thank you…."

* * *

After some awkward encounters between the two as she carefully removed his clothing – save for a loincloth – she examined him everywhere. Aside from suspicious-looking needle punctures, open wounds, and other _deliberate_ markings, he was in one piece, albeit exhausted. Holding the title of Azure Dragoon herself, she knew the limits she could take while being the Warrior of Light but without the _curse_ of Nidhogg. For him to be diminished to this was beyond her comprehension.

Through all of the brushes of skin, the reddened glances, and hisses of pain when medication was applied, Estinien remained verbally silent.

It finally reached a breaking point after pants for him were found. As he was putting on a shirt borrowed from her (in her array of a wardrobe, a mystery to him), and he was groaning out of soreness, that she broke the silence – albeit her occasional "sorry" and "does it hurt?"

"Estinien?" she asked quietly.

"Mmm…?" he groaned as she helped him lay down in her bed. When his head hit the pillow, he sighed, closing his eyes.

"What happened to you?" she asked, her voice breaking.

His eyes opened quickly and he looked to her, seeing the water brimming at the edges of her sight. He cursed under his breath and tried to sit up to reach her, but she shook her head and helped ease him back down, letting tears fall down.

"Please! Just stop…. Stop trying to pretend you're alright on your own!" She turned away from him, wiping her face frantically with her back turned. "I'm not afraid to say… I'm not." she whispered.

"I was captured."

She turned back to look at him, and his gaze was on his hands in his lap.

"The Garlean Empire took advantage of what Ishgard still had to offer… which was Nidhogg." He paused, giving her a chance to take that in. "They found the eyes and gave the power to Zenos yae Galvus, as you well know." He chanced a glance in her direction, and she stiffened at the mention of his name. Estinien continued, "When I destroyed the eyes last I saw you…." But then he trailed off from the intensity of her stare.

There were few things that scared Estinien in this world. Not even the prospect of dying in the name of saving Ishgard when he had asked the Warrior of Light to kill him made him bat an eye. Her glare was one of them.

"That look of yours pains me, you know," he pointed out, turning away from her. He side-eyed her and she still stared. "Yes… I _heard_ you. You would not comprehend the pain it physically caused me to turn away from you."

"Then why did you go?!" she snapped. "Do you know the pain it caused _me_? Did you _care_?"

"Of course I-" but he stopped to cough and fell back onto the pillow. He composed himself before continuing. "I left to protect you."

"And a bloody great job you did there!" she shouted at him. "Do you know what's happened since then? The Scions and the rest of Ala Mhigo tried to form a stable alliance and guess what happened? Another fucking-!"

"A primal! Yes, a primal! I was captured. Do you think that I had known, I would have stayed away?!"

She folded her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. "You've left when I've needed you before."

Estinien sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Continuing this fight is the last reason I have returned."

"Then why did you bother to come back to me? You could have gone home. Have Aymeric to mend you back to health and Alberic to see again."

"They… would not understand."

"So you came to me?"

"I was an experiment."

The Warrior of Light took a breath and held it. She had no words. She needed to know more.

"As I was trying to explain…. After I destroyed the eyes, the Empire found me. They knew who I was somehow. I believe there may be yet another traitor in our midst. But that is but a small problem. They drained me of my aether the best they could. But Nidhogg was merciful on my soul. Whilst he may be no more, his _curse_ still runs through my veins. The curse seemed to protect me, whilst ironically being part of what they stole."

She took a few steps back to the bed and sat on the edge. She looked down to his hands and took them in her own. "Gods, I… I don't know what to say."

He raised a hand to brush hair away from her face. "They have stolen Nidhogg's power without the eyes. They are planning something more. I was too weak to get away and also inform anyone of royal status, but I knew where to find you."

"Estinien… what did they do to you?"

He trained his eyes on her hair as he continued to smooth it and tuck it back. "They drained my aether. Made me angry to try to awaken Nidhogg's power. But apparently they knew not of my power coming directly from the beast and my destroying of the source. Then they moved to some… _interrogation…_ to find out what they had missed. I know not what I hath provided them with. For that, I am sorry for aiding the enemy once again."

She grimaced but paused. "I'd hit you for thinking this is your fault, but I think you've been through enough."

He chuckled but winced at the pain in his ribs. "You always seemed to be as violent as I."

She took one of his hands back and put it to her cheek, nuzzling into it. "So let me get this right…. You came back for nearly the same reason you left?"

"Regarding the understanding me? Yes, I suppose that is the case. But regarding trying to protect you? I think I hath done a shite job at that one. I never wanted to become a monster again… though I feel that after what happened in Garlemald, I may still be."

"Then two Azure Dragoons, each with a blessing from a dragon, shall be monsters together, saving Eorzea." she concluded, squeezing his hands between hers.

Estinien Wyrmblood, lost to the world for the better part of two years, on his own quest to destroy his nemesis that was one of the original dragons… allowed a small smile to cross his face. He took his hands from her gently and cupped her face with one hand while brushing away her hair with the other. He leaned in close, his breath hot and labored even still on her face. "I may not be much for companionship this night… but I will stay if you would allow me."

She smiled and licked her lips, looking into his eyes. She leaned her forehead into his, both closing their eyes. "Welcome home."

* * *

The Warrior of Light once again awoke with a start. She immediately looked to her right to see Estinien's sleeping form beside her. His breathing was slow but not as shallow as the previous night.

She sighed in relief, and Estinien turned his head to her. "Yes, I am still here."

Startled, she gasped and turned back to him, her eyes wide.

"You needn't worry. I hath been awake for some time. The pain, you see…."

She pursed her lips in a half smile and scooted closer to him. She leaned over him and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Will you please see the chirurgeons now?"

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "I survived the night, did I not?"

"You're really tempting me to slap you." she pointed out. He gave her the faintest hint of a smile again, so she was proud of her gesture.

She rose from bed, but he grabbed her wrist, turning her to him. Though weakened, he was still able to pull her lips down to meet his. She squeaked in surprise while he chuckled into the kiss. He pulled back abruptly, his breathing shallow again.

"My apologies, 'tis but still a strain even for that."

It was her turn to laugh and shake her head at him. "Did my kissing you imply I wanted something more last night?"

Estinien flushed, a sight she had never seen before. He grumbled something to himself about her being a bitch. She merely rolled her eyes and poked his nose before standing again.

When she reached for her armor in the wardrobe, he turned his head, attempting to seem oblivious to her, but she took appreciation in his chivalry.

Once ready herself, she helped him out of bed. She helped him to her small bathroom and sat him down, taking a brush to his hair. She trimmed it back to a neater state and redressed his bandages. He simply watched her while she worked, seeming to know what she was doing as if well-practiced.

After he was more presentable, she put a finger to her Linkpearl. "Alphinaud…. Gather Lord Hien and the others. We need to hold a meeting. But first… grab his best chirurgeons."

* * *

Following the shock that was Estinien's return, he was quickly ushered to a facility with all of the best to examine him at the word of Lord Hien.

Lord Hien himself was surprisingly skeptical at Estinien's sudden return, but agreed to the meeting regardless. The Warrior of Light, Estinien, Alphinaud, Lord Hien, Yugiri, Gosetsu, and other close confidants of Lord Hien sat in a circle in the throne room. Estinien had been given some of Gosetsu's clothing, as an elezen as tall as he fit into little of the clothing of Domans. He wore a Haori, despite his minor protests, and sat between the Warrior of Light and Alphinaud at one head of the circle opposite Hien.

"So…" Hien began, "the infamous Azure Dragoon hath returned to the world of the living. Might I begin with why you have chosen now? After the events of Ala Mhigo, the retaking of Doma Castle – my home – and the return of not one, but a _few_ primals?"

Alphinaud shot a look in Hien's direction, and opened his mouth to speak, but Estinien put a hand on his shoulder. "Watch your tongue, boy. He is only being protective of a recently freed kingdom. I know the feeling all too well." he added, looking to Hien.

The Lord lifted his chin at that, his interest peaked.

"I will explain everything you need to know. Ishgard hath been driven down a long path to where it stands today as a part of the Eorzean Alliance. I was both a part in freeing Ishgard… and holding it back. But I am not under the control of the monster that was Nidhogg. After the fall of Zenos yae Galvus, I destroyed the eyes used to give him the ability to become the primal, Shinryu."

Yugiri's jaw dropped as she first made eye contact with Gosetsu and then Lord Hien. The other military officials in the room began to whisper to each other until Lord Hien raised up a hand, silencing them. "You say the eyes are destroyed. Why hath you not returned whence they were?"

Estinien licked his lips before chancing a glance at her. She nodded to encourage him. Looking back to Hien, he continued. "You must understand that I still hold the power of the Azure Dragoon in addition to Nidhogg's curse from my body having been his vessel. But I was watching from the shadows. I was the one to aid you at Castrum Abania. You did particularly well with the handling of the battle, might I add," he directed at Alphinaud.

Alphinaud looked to her then, his eyes wide. She looked back to him and watched as realization dawned on his face.

Hien folded his arms across his chest, closing his eyes in thought. "On behalf of both Domans and Ala Mhigans, I thank you." He paused, choosing his next words carefully. "I must insist that you explain in explicit detail what happened to you in Garlemald."

Taking in a long breath before sighing, Estinien recounted all that he had told the Warrior of Light upon entering her abode. He spared them the more graphic details of his capture.

But when he finally reached the part of how they stole his aether and thus the curse of Nidhogg's powers, Lord Hien held up a hand. "I must ask that you spare a moment. I believe that it is not coincidence you have come back to us on this same night. As most of us here know now, Asahi's intentions are dubious at best. He indeed intends to reach an agreement between Doma and the Empire; however, his threatening of the Warrior of Light needed to be looked into." He looked to the Warrior of Light, his good friend, before saying what he was about to. "After the fall of Ala Mhigo and besting of Shinryu, Estinien destroyed the eyes. But did you both notice what was missing atop the Menagerie?"

She and Estinien glanced to each other and back to Lord Hien, both of their eyes wide.

"Estinien may be right in that there is a traitor amongst us, and thus knew of Estinien's involvement with the Warrior of Light and at Castrum Abania…." He took in a breath, straightening himself. "We have received word that Zenos yae Galvus is alive."

All eyes turned to her. "That's… that's impossible…. I watched his head roll on the gods-damned floor!"

"Need you be surprised after what your friend here has recounted of his capture?" Lord Hien pointed out. "They wanted Nidhogg's power back, and they knew whomst held it. They also had a vessel for it within the Empire. All they had to do was steal the body and perform similar experiments-"

She stood abruptly. Her nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed. "Zenos yae Galvus is dead." she spat through gritted teeth.

Estinien and Alphinaud then made eye contact. Estinien stood, placing a hand on her shoulder, but she shoved him off. "As much as I wish to protest as well, I feel that given what I experienced-"

"No! _No!_ I can't-! I _won't_ believe this!" she yelled. "Tell me it isn't true!" she snapped toward Alphinaud.

The young elezen's eyes widened. She knew that he _always_ knew what to say. But this was one of those times he was at a loss for words.

She clenched shut her eyes and fists. She turned on her heel and ran out of the room.

Estinien was quick to follow her though. On her heels, he caught up to her easily with his stature. When he reached her, he reached for her shoulder again but upon contact, she grabbed his hand and threw it off.

"Don't you _dare_ try to comfort me on this one!" she snapped.

"Are you allowed to comfort me but not the other way around?" he questioned.

"I think after everything you've put me through the past few years, I deserve to be the one to run for once." she said with ice in her tone.

Estinien stopped and looked down. "Believe it or not, I have no reply to give you."

She crossed her arms, glaring at him. If that was his way of apologizing, it was lousy in her mind.

"Allow me to make amends," he started. "I could search for the truth for your sake. I shall go-"

"How could you even suggest that?" she snapped. "Get it through your thick, gods-be-damned skull! I don't want you to leave!"

He searched her eyes, trying to determine if her words held the weight she spoke them with. He knew that she always meant what she said. But he still had toyed with the idea that there was more he could do for her. The burning sensation he had felt when they had met again atop the Menagerie was searing through him.

For the time being, he resigned himself to this. He opened his arms to her, looking to her eyes. "Then I shall stay."

She rushed into his embrace then, pressing her cheek to his bare chest. She took in his warmth, smelling his odd scent that was so Estinien.

"Let us go home," he whispered into her hair, pressing a kiss to her head.

* * *

The sun rose the following morning and bathed her face in warmth as she stirred. She remembered the previous night and smiled, remembering his warmth… how much he made this empty house feel like home.

Then she realize the lack of that very warmth.

She turned abruptly in bed to see the empty side, the blankets tossed aside. She sat up and scanned the room, her blood rushing in her ears. The battered armor he had shown up in was gone along with the lance he had with him.

She pressed her fists to her eyes so hard it physically hurt. But any hurt was better than the emptiness she felt right then. She screamed so loud it hurt her own ears and throat.

Tears poured down her face as she screamed, _"Fuck you! Fuck you, Estinien! Don't you dare come back!"_

* * *

"Did thou miss me, my old friend?" The enormous man at the far end of the bridge called to her with a maniacal cackle. She physically cringed at the sight of his Adam's apple bobbing below the ugly scars on his throat. "Do you accept me _now_?" He bellowed in laughter.

Her body was frozen, her eyes wide in horror as she stared at him. Her hands shook, but she managed to turn to the other large man she had once took refuge in. He seemed to hardly notice her as she stared at his form, so foreign to her and who he truly is, yet all too familiar.

"E-Estinien!" she yelled to him, though only just feet away. She didn't know if he could hear her beneath the power literally swirling around him in tendrils of black and reds. He was hovering in the air with the near-skeletal wings of Nidhogg seemingly hanging him there. She swallowed hard. "Don't do this! Not like this!"

A combined voice of Nidhogg and Estinien came through. "Ah, but child of Hydaelyn. This is how I may repay you."

Her eyes narrowed despite her fear, not understanding the meaning.

"It is not Nidhogg that must repay you, but I, Estinien."

She gaped at the form before her. His hair whipped around his face as a smirk formed.

"You wanted nothing more than for this to be over, or is that not so? I have returned with the power to obtain vengeance! For _you_!"

It dawned on her then that this was the result of the experiments the Empire must have performed on him. It lie dormant in him until vengeance triggered the awakening of the power of Nidhogg once more. He had been right all along: she was the cause.

"Please! You have to fight this! You are more than your power! I don't want vengeance! I want you!" Tears welled in her eyes for what felt like the millionth time in being with the man before her. "Come home to me…."

"Silence, girl!" he shouted at her with the combined voice again. "I must finish this!" With that, he took to the sky, sending wind spiraling at her as she turned to follow his form.

He sprung like a dragoon but used the wings as further leverage to aim straight for Zenos.

"A fight to the death it is, my one _other_ true equal." he sneered.

The two dragons collided in the air as she looked on in horror. Zenos still used his blade through the ghostly form of Shinryu while Estinien used the broken lance he still held onto to go toe-to-toe with Zenos. Meanwhile, Shinryu's claws gripped into pieces of the wings on Estinien, attempting to rip them from his very back. Nidhogg's wings sunk into Zenos' back when they could not pierce Shinryu, ripping chunks of flesh from him. Zenos coughed up blood but continued to cackle as his blade clashed with Estinien's lance.

Shaking off her shock, she charged forward and launched herself up at the two of them, hitting Zenos with everything she had. He cursed before meeting her eyes. She met his and whispered, "I _still…_ don't accept you."

While he was distracted, Estinien took his lance straight to Zenos' throat, repeating the act the said man had done himself all that time ago. The Warrior of Light wretched when she saw him roll on the floor, and she leapt down as the form of Shinryu vanished, and Zenos' body collapsed to the ground at her feet.

When she landed, she was out of breath, trying to withhold her stomach contents and turned away from the corpse. She looked up to see Estinien hovering just in front of her, reaching out his arms to her.

She narrowed her eyes. He was still not himself, she knew this. But she also knew it could be the only way to reason with him.

She reached out and met one of his hands.

He gripped her roughly and pulled her into his embrace, expelling the air from her lungs. But what stopped her breath was when she suddenly felt the tips Nidhogg's wings pierce her armor and through her back.

Nidhogg's voice then laughed at her, blood from his fight with Zenos splattering her face. It didn't matter to her though, as she was beginning to choke on her own blood.

"Finally! I can fell the beast which helped slain thee in days past!"

"Estinien…" she croaked out, "don't…. Please…."

His face contorted for a moment and he groaned in pain.

"I know… you're fighting…." She coughed blood and it spilled down her chin. "You did this for me…. Don't let it end like this…."

The ends of the wings suddenly tore from her back, and she screamed in pain. That was enough to make Estinien's eyes widen, and he nearly dropped her. Panting in agony, he floated down to the ground, still clutching her close to him as his eyes clenched shut. It was painful to let his own thoughts come through, but he was trying his hardest to embrace it.

"Estinien!" a new voice suddenly shouted from the far end of the bridge. Estinien turned them around, and she squinted through the shadows threatening at the edges of her vision to see Alphinaud holding up his tome with a carbuncle and Aymeric holding up a bow with a knocked arrow. "Do not force my hand on you again! Let her go!"

With what little strength she had, she held up a hand, albeit her arm being pinned.

The two elezen exchanged glances but lowered their weapons slowly.

She managed to just barely reach his cheek with her bloodied hand. Estinien's eyes widened before closing and leaning into her touch.

"Don't let us die… like this…." she pleaded. She sucked in a breath and coughed again. But it was enough to clear her throat. "I love you…. Come home."

Finally, his eyes clenched in pain and he let out a blood-curdling wail of agony as the wings dissipated from his back along with the tendrils of power surrounding them. He gripped onto her, and she let him, knowing he needed her through this.

"He'll kill her!" Alphinaud shouted.

But Aymeric raised an arm to block him from charging forward. "If you wish to save them both, you have to let this happen. 'Tis the only chance he has."

"And what of her?!"

Aymeric grimaced. He had seen her prowess in battle. But her weakness for her loved ones was her fatal flaw.

As his clawed metal gauntlets tore into the flesh of her arms, she felt as though she could breathe again. She was too exhausted to scream in pain, but the relief that he was using her to ground himself was working… allowed her to calm.

"Estinien…." she whispered again.

Finally, he fell to his knees but never let her fall. He gently laid her in his arms and brushed her blood-stained hair from her face.

"What have I done…?" he said with his own voice at last, his hand shaking. Tears streamed down his face, cutting through the grime and blood across his own face. He looked back when he heard the footsteps of the others rushing to their aid. He resigned himself to his fate. He may be held captive again with this crime… or revered as a hero for saving the world from Shinryu. Which fate lie ahead, he did not know.

But her hand brushing his face brought him back from his tormented thoughts. He clutched her hand to his cheek and turned his face into her palm to kiss it.

"You came… back to me." she said, with what little of a smile she could manage.

"Always," he said, his voice breaking for her, for the first time. "My love…." he said, his voice hoarse from the strain. He swallowed. "Where once I craved vengeance… I now crave rest. Let us go home."

* * *

 **[A/N 3-22-18]: Holy shit, I did not expect to fall in love with Estinien this much. And as you can tell, the chapters got longer the more I made! I hope you all enjoyed this despite the slight canon-twist I threw in for the sake of plot. It's a bit AU where they do experiments on him and Zenos, but I think it fits both characters well given Stormblood!**

 **I haven't decided if the next in the making is Zenos or Haurchefant (very different characters, I know) and in the future, Hien and Sidurgu! But keep an open mind and let me know how you enjoyed this! The next chapter might be a ways off because I want to focus on my other two projects, but if the urge strikes me, you'll know!**


	4. Breath - ZenosWoL

WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS 4.0-4.4 SPOILERS & MATURE RATING FOR THEMES/METAPHOR

* * *

How long has it been? It had felt as though it was lifetimes of this routine.

Everyday, I'd awaken, ready myself for the day and travel across the city to where he was held. It had started when Raubann had asked that I give it a try, "Get him to talk," he had said. "He asks only for you."

I arrived at his door and knocked twice, both guards nodding their good mornings to me. "Please… come in." said the raspy voice from beyond the door.

With a tray in my hands, one of the guards pushed the door opened for me, and I slowly entered as the wood creaked below my weight. I looked to the bed.

Beneath a white sheet, were the legs of a tall man, his chest wrapped in bandages and his breath heaving in and out with labored efforts. His neck was wrapped as well with his blond hair draped over his shoulders and bringing some color to his otherwise pale form.

My eyes finally settled upon his face, and I felt my face settle into a small smile in spite of myself. He sported his own gentle gaze with his startling blue eyes graced with bags beneath.

"Good morning, my sweet."

A knot formed in the pit of my stomach, hoping the guards outside hadn't heard his comment. I stepped forward and sat at the edge of the bed. "Good morning, Zenos." I placed the tray on his lap carefully.

He took his arms out from under the blanket and settled his hands on the tray. He studied the food for a moment. "King." he said, simply. "They treat me as such."

I looked at the tray. "It's the same food you get every morning, you know."

He closed his eyes - a habit I'd noticed in lieu of nodding - and continued, "I am a failure in the eyes of my people… my lineage. I am no king." He paused. "And yet…." He opened his eyes and looked up to me again. "I feel at peace."

…

I sat crossed legged on the bed with Zenos sitting in front of me on the edge, his feet on the floor. As I brushed his hair after he bathed, we chatted as we did on most days.

"Do you miss it?" he asked. "The exhilaration of battle?"

I stopped the brush midway down his back. "Pardon?"

"I do," he said, his tone flat. "I miss fighting _you._ "

A chill ran down my spine. "I suppose you were one of my greatest foes." I admitted quietly. I continued brushing his hair.

"I know you do," he said. "You liked the feeling of blood pouring like ran. You relished in the rush of energy that courses through you like aether. You _bathed_ in the sense of pride when an enemy lie slain at your boot."

"Hmph." was my only indication I had heard him.

"You deny it not." he said. I felt his hair tug at the brush when his facial muscles formed a smirk.

"I suppose."

"Is that all you'll ever allow me? 'I suppose'?" He turned his tone up to imitate me.

"Didn't realize you were the jester type," I said. But I had to admit it to myself if no one else; he was right. There was something about the fight for my life - particularly - against this madman - that gave me a thrill. I hadn't felt something nearly as strong as when we had last fought… since we reclaimed Ala Mhigo.

"I do not jest, even in the presence of the one that feels that same burden." My brushing paused as I listened. "You and I are more alike than you are willing to ever admit. You wish to feel something more again, just as I. That is why you are here with me instead of celebrating this country's newfound freedom."

I lowered the brush. "Would you rather it not be me? I could have a guard watch you all hours of the day and handmaidens ensure that you don't try to kill yourself."

"You dodge the question with such grace."

Well he definitely wasn't lacking in intelligence. I sighed, and he turned in place to face me. I stared back into his eyes. "I don't miss fighting for my life or fighting for the safety of those I love." My face was completely serious. I wouldn't allow him to know more than that about my reasons. "But do I miss the thrill of battle? The adrenaline that pumps through my veins when I face a new challenge?" I paused, searching his eyes for any hint of bias before answering. "I do."

He looked down, and before I could react, he folded his hand over my own. He whispered, "I miss it too. It seemed to be the only emotion I can feel anymore."

When I finally came to my senses, my breath caught, and I pulled my hand back. But he was quick - as I had always known him to be - and he reached out to run his fingers through my hair. "You were always the one to stir any emotion in me. You accepted me as I am… for the monsters we _both_ are destined to be."

My mouth hung open at his words, but I didn't pull away this time. I was too stunned to react.

He smirked at the lack of reaction. "Caught you by surprise once again, haven't I?"

I swallowed and pulled away. I stood up and turned to the door.

"I'm sorry." he said quietly. "I simply wish to feel something again."

I wouldn't have him toying with me if I could help it. I shut the door hard behind me.

….

I took a steadying breath before opening the door. Upon entering, I was greeted with wide eyes but also a grin.

"I hadn't expected you to return." he said.

"I thought about what you said a few days ago." I told him as I set my bag on the floor. I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. I closed my eyes, rubbing the tender dark spots under them with my thumb and index finger. "I thought about it a lot."

With my eyes still closed, I felt him shift under the covers and pull himself toward me. I stiffened when he moved, forcing my eyes open to see his gaze soften. "And…?" He lifted a hand - slowly, as he watched me for a reaction - to my face and tucked some hair behind my ear.

I closed my eyes again but didn't pull away. "As much as I'm going to hate the taste in my mouth once I say it…" I sighed, "I do miss it." I opened my eyes to meet his. "You're the only one who understands that, aren't you?"

His mouth twitched into a small smile. It wasn't in a deceitful way either; it was genuine, almost sad. "Now you heed my words."

"I do, and I hate myself for it." I said quickly. "I don't want to feel this way. I do everything I can to protect Eorzea - even all of Hydaelyn for that matter - and yet, in times of peace, all I can do is think about… about-!"

"Feeling something?" he asked quietly but hurriedly. "As though you have an itch for something less mundane than your usual life? As though… you haven't the faintest idea of what a _usual_ would even entail?"

"Yes! I just don't understand why! I know things are alright, and I finally - _finally_ \- have peace of mind - or at least I should - when all I am is restless and anxious for something - something-!"

"Satisfying." we finish together.

I turned my gaze back to meet his eyes. His expression matched mine: realization and clarity all at once, as though having the same thought as someone else had never crossed his mind until that moment.

His lips crashed hard into my own, knocking the wind straight from my lungs. His hands - too big for my face - cupped my cheeks securely between them. I heard myself let out a noise of surprise but not one of malcontent.

A moment later, I reached my hand up to press back against his bare chest and took a breath. I searched his eyes for some kind of hidden intention, but found none. He was just as unsure as I was.

"This is wrong," I said in a whisper.

"It does not feel so," he shot back.

"They'd call me a traitor."

"Let them."

"I'd be hung."

"Then who has to know?"

I licked my lips. The offer was hanging in the air.

"Allow me this," he said, still whispering back. "Is it not healthier for us to express ourselves in this way rather than by way of destruction? We understand each other. We can explore this new path together." His eyes darted around mine, as though trying to find the answer in them.

"Zenos…."

He closed his eyes and sighed, his breath brushing my face and sending a warm chill down my spine. "Release any and all inhibitions with me. Become the beast I know you are, however… in a more… _lucrative_ way."

I watched him as he took the side of my face back in one hand. I swallowed and took a shaky breath.

"You're afraid." he guessed. At my silence, he smiled - this time in a more sinister way - yet, I didn't feel the need to run. It was captivating. "I swear not to let harm befall you."

I scoffed despite my voice coming out shakily. " _You_ harm _me_? Don't you remember who won that fight?" I said, tracing a finger along his neck.

"You test my patience, pet," he threw back. "Do we have an agreement or not?"

My lips formed a straight line as he watched, and in spite of everything I had done and sworn to do to protect my world, my country, my home… I felt myself nod my head.

With the power of a wild cat, he pounced.

The feeling I had been missing… _longing_ for… _this_ was it. The proximity of two faces, heat burning behind our cheeks, hands moving fast around each other. It was as though we had never left the battlefield.

Tearing through defenses, cloth and armor flew freely as he landed face-down on top of his opponent: me. Hands searched for weaknesses along the other's body as our faces remained together.

Slowly, he gained the upper hand, testing the wound. I - the one at the obvious disadvantage - squirmed beneath him, sweat starting to form on my brow. I bit my bottom lip, bracing myself.

Straight inside me was his next move. I felt all of the air leave my lungs with a gasp. He chuckled at this, but continued slowly… stabbing… _thrusting_ through me.

I cried out, feeling on another plane of reality as I started to stab in retaliation. He groaned at me, lowered his face beside my own, and breathed hot at my ear.

We danced around each other - together - his hands grasping for me and mine for him.

Finally, at last, the battle approached a winner, each of us moving faster… smarter… growing more desperate to win.

Our bodies arched into each other as the battle ceased.

Panting, Zenos collapsed slick against my body, his full weight enveloping it. I heaved in and out as I tried to pull my senses back to reality, hanging by a thread.

He put each of his hands on either side of my face, pressing into the pillow and pushing himself up. His long, gold hair framed my face as it fell around me in a curtain, hiding my flushed expression from the world. He smiled as he breathed deeply through his nose with his cheeks glistening. His voice was hoarse with strain, " _Satisfied_ , are we, my pet?"

I scoffed, then chuckled when I remembered my predicament. "That's _beast_ to you."


End file.
